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Posts tagged alpha xi delta

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HOLD ON, I JUST NEED TO BRAG FOR A HOT SECOND.

We had ELEVEN girls show up to open recruitment tonight, five of whom weren’t even at our recruitment event on Monday when we had eight show up. Last year we were basically begging girls to come to recruitment in the winter and didn’t come close to filling our total, and now we actually get to be selective because we have a lot more PNMs than we do open spots. Unfortunately, we’re gonna have to break some hearts which I’m not looking forward to. But the amount of work and dedication my sisters have put into this chapter and recruiting women who share our values and show commitment to service, leadership, and sisterhood has made me so proud that it’s worth it. I am so grateful for them making my first semester as membership vice president so much easier!

Filed under alpha xi delta panhellenic recruitment axid

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BEING DISASSOCIATED IS REALLY, REALLY HARD.

I’ve been disassociated for less than 2 hours and I can already tell it’s going to be a long 6 weeks :( Every time I think about it, I realize there’s something else I can’t do. Like just now I was thinking about how awesome it is to live in the sorority house because there’s always someone around to hang out with or go somewhere with, but I can’t go anywhere with my sisters until October 8. I’ve only lived in this house for 5 days and I’m already missing out on one of the huge benefits of it! BAH! I went to Jimmy Johns after it was over with Chris and some of my sisters were there and I came to the really shitty realization that I can’t just sit down and have a conversation with them anymore when I see them in public. WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO NOW??? Okay I’m being dramatic but whatever. 

I think the hardest part of it all is that my chapter has become such a huge part of my identity in the last two years, and now it can’t be. During the ceremony we introduced ourselves and then put our letters into a box and I realized that it was the last time I’ll be able to say “Hi I’m Julia and I’m an Alpha Xi Delta” until Bid Day. That little introduction has become such a habit for me and now I can’t do it anymore, I don’t know it’s just really really weird. One of the goals I’ve set for myself as a Rho Chi is to not tell anyone what my affiliation is, but show through my actions how much of an AXiD I am and for no one to be surprised when I return home on Bid Day. 

I know it’s going to be a lot easier and I’m going to be focused on so much more once recruitment starts, and I’m really excited to get my group of babies and help them find their homes. But the end of this feels so far away, it’s just hard to see the finish line.

Also I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be on the verge of tears for the next 43 days. Someone on facebook said the word fuzzies, not even in relation to AXiD and I started tearing up. Yikes.

Filed under alpha xi delta recruitment panhellenic i'm an emotional wreck sorry

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I miss you, Chapter 4.  So, UIFI. Session 10. For the past year I’ve been attending Greek Life/Leadership conferences like it’s my job (and ironically, planning them has become my job. Woo Campus Life!) so I kind of already knew what to expect from UIFI. I knew we’d be discussing values, that there would be big group sessions and small chapter sessions, that we’d be debating the merits of Greek Life, that we’d be expected to come up with a plan to better our chapter/community, etc etc etc. This kind of thing is old hat for me and to be honest the reason I went was because my Greek Life adviser/boss needed someone to fill the spot of a girl who could no longer attend. That’s not to say I wasn’t excited to go or I didn’t gain anything from this experience; I had an amazing time and will definitely be putting the ideas I came up with while at UIFI into action in the very near future. I have had a pretty unique experience in Greek Life thus far, at least compared to Greeks on other campuses. I come from a pretty small D-1 school with an even smaller Greek community. Greek Week isn’t a huge competitive ordeal (at least for most chapters), sorority recruitment is minimally structured, our financial support from alumni is pretty much zero, and each chapter has a capacity of 55, with most chapters never reaching that amount of membership. But the biggest difference I’ve seen is our commitment to values and the effect it’s had on our culture as a whole. Parties happen, but fraternities are required to follow our strict social policy and drinking to oblivion is not considered acceptable. We have a lot of programming set up (GLASS 1, GLASS 2, sober monitors, individual risk management programs within each chapter) that deal specifically with alcohol safety and responsibility. There will always be the people who are in Greek Life for the parties, but at Eastern they’ve become more of the exception than the rule. Hazing - it just doesn’t happen. The chapters that do get caught for hazing face a minimum three-year suspension. But the reason we don’t haze our new members is because we respect them, not because we’re afraid of getting caught & shut down. I personally see no benefit to hazing new members or “pledges”, and the justifications people have given me for hazing are, for lack of a better word, bullshit. I was not hazed whatsoever and I loved every single moment of my semester as a new member, aside from the awkwardness of not really knowing anyone at first and having no idea what was going on. I felt just as bonded to my new member class as I would have had I been hazed.  I saw my sisters living their ritual before I could even call myself their sister. As a freshman going through structured recruitment, there was this little spark that every Alpha Xi Delta had that I just couldn’t put my finger on. Every step of the way, from the first night of recruitment to the last night before my Initiation, I saw my sisters so fully living our Ritual that when I first heard it at Initiation I wasn’t surprised. Even though I hadn’t yet learned the actual words, I felt like I had known our Ritual all along. We are a chapter and community that places truly living our values and Ritual so strongly in the forefront of our minds that things like hazing simply can’t become an issue because there’s no one willing to desecrate their Ritual like that. Coming to UIFI with five other Greeks from Eastern who have had the same experience as I have was a pretty huge culture shock. The first night, after we were done with all of our scheduled programming, I got a chance to unwind and have a really long talk with the rest of my chapter. The way some of them talked about their experiences with hazing just shocked me. One of the women in my chapter told us about how as a new member she was hazed by not just her sisters, but members of fraternities on her campus as well. I can’t even remember what was done to her because the whole time she was telling us about it, all I could think was WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS????? And she didn’t want to be a part of it, she hated that it was done to her, hated that she hazed newer members too, and hated that her chapter’s climate perpetuated these awful things. But that’s the thing about being a new member or being in the minority opinion, it’s really, REALLY freaking intimidating to stand up for yourself and be a dissenting voice.  People who haze frequently justify their actions by explaining that they would stop hazing if it made their new members uncomfortable. There are SO MANY things wrong with that excuse. Unless you’re a really assertive person with a lot of guts, as a new member you’re not going to stand up to the older members and tell them you don’t want to be hazed, or that you’re not comfortable with what they’re doing to you/forcing you to do. If they’ve signed a bid, they want to be a part of this organization and ultimately want to be initiated so they’ll do what it takes to get there. Second of all, new members in most cases have no idea how Greek Life works and don’t understand all the reasons they shouldn’t be hazed and will put up with it because they just don’t know that it’s wrong. But my biggest issue with this excuse is that if there’s any slight chance it would make your new members uncomfortable, if there’s any possibility at all that they will have a negative experience, you shouldn’t do it. Plain and simple.  Because I’ve never seen a benefit to hazing, and everyone I’ve known in my college career has had a strongly negative opinion towards it, I always get blown away when I encounter people who legitimately want to haze and think it’s a necessary or beneficial part of the new member process. A big part of me wanted to grab the people at UIFI who condoned hazing by the shoulders and shake them, buuuuut I restrained myself. I just don’t understand that mindset at all, and hearing all these stories about hazing and alcohol problems that other chapters have gave me an even stronger appreciation for Eastern and AXiD Gamma Zeta. It’s really easy to complain about the problems my chapter has with accountability and fundraising and a big handful of other things, but in comparison to the horror stories I heard that night - we’re doing just fine. It put a lot into perspective and from that point on, I felt like my purpose for attending UIFI was much bigger than finding solutions for the small problems my chapter has. I’ve gained so much from being Greek and my experience has been so incredibly positive, and it really upsets me when other people don’t get that opportunity to have such a great experience. I felt a really strong sense of responsibility to give back what I’ve gotten and use my experience and perspective to convince those who condoned it that hazing has no place in a values-based organization.  It was really challenging and so frustrating at times - at one point after a really long discussion about hazing I tweeted “talking about hazing is making me lose my mind. JUST STOP FUCKING HAZING OMG” and I wish it was that simple. The people who came from hazing chapters are against a lot of obstacles, and if everyone in your chapter has been hazing for years and years without anyone speaking up and saying “we shouldn’t do this, this is wrong”, how are you going to realize it’s wrong until you meet people with a different perspective? For a lot of these people, UIFI was the first time they had been able to look at hazing objectively and see the dark side of it - that it’s more than harmless fun and a chance to bond with your pledge class, that it conflicts with the values and Ritual your organization was founded on, and more importantly that it’s dangerous and PEOPLE DIE FROM IT. We watched a really powerful video one night about the tragic consequences of hazing and it had a huge impact on everyone there. I think that was such a necessary eye-opener for a lot of people, and after watching that video I started seeing people’s opinions change.  Out of the ten people in Chapter Four, four of them came from hazing chapters. By the end of our UIFI experience, two of them verbally committed to ending hazing in their own chapters, one of them committed to ending hazing within his IFC community, and one of them called her chapter’s national headquarters because their need for outside help was so big. THIS IS HUGE! I was so proud of them, especially since 3 out of the 4 didn’t really see the issue with hazing at first. I admire their courage so much because it’s really not going to be easy for them, but they’re doing it anyway because they know how important it is.  Seeing those four people commit to end hazing in their chapters was by far the biggest and most inspirational piece of UIFI for me. I believe in the power of Greek Life. I believe in the power of the bond of sisterhood and brotherhood. I believe everyone deserves to realize their potential. I believe in the life-changing ability of living your ritual. I believe in Alpha Xi Delta. I commit to ensuring that EVERYONE in the Greek system gains everything I have and more from being a member in this amazing community, to the best of my ability, for the rest of my life. (For real, the rest of my life. I’m going into Student Affairs and I plan on doing this stuff until I physically can’t anymore.)

I miss you, Chapter 4. 

So, UIFI. Session 10. For the past year I’ve been attending Greek Life/Leadership conferences like it’s my job (and ironically, planning them has become my job. Woo Campus Life!) so I kind of already knew what to expect from UIFI. I knew we’d be discussing values, that there would be big group sessions and small chapter sessions, that we’d be debating the merits of Greek Life, that we’d be expected to come up with a plan to better our chapter/community, etc etc etc. This kind of thing is old hat for me and to be honest the reason I went was because my Greek Life adviser/boss needed someone to fill the spot of a girl who could no longer attend. That’s not to say I wasn’t excited to go or I didn’t gain anything from this experience; I had an amazing time and will definitely be putting the ideas I came up with while at UIFI into action in the very near future.

I have had a pretty unique experience in Greek Life thus far, at least compared to Greeks on other campuses. I come from a pretty small D-1 school with an even smaller Greek community. Greek Week isn’t a huge competitive ordeal (at least for most chapters), sorority recruitment is minimally structured, our financial support from alumni is pretty much zero, and each chapter has a capacity of 55, with most chapters never reaching that amount of membership. But the biggest difference I’ve seen is our commitment to values and the effect it’s had on our culture as a whole. Parties happen, but fraternities are required to follow our strict social policy and drinking to oblivion is not considered acceptable. We have a lot of programming set up (GLASS 1, GLASS 2, sober monitors, individual risk management programs within each chapter) that deal specifically with alcohol safety and responsibility. There will always be the people who are in Greek Life for the parties, but at Eastern they’ve become more of the exception than the rule.

Hazing - it just doesn’t happen. The chapters that do get caught for hazing face a minimum three-year suspension. But the reason we don’t haze our new members is because we respect them, not because we’re afraid of getting caught & shut down. I personally see no benefit to hazing new members or “pledges”, and the justifications people have given me for hazing are, for lack of a better word, bullshit. I was not hazed whatsoever and I loved every single moment of my semester as a new member, aside from the awkwardness of not really knowing anyone at first and having no idea what was going on. I felt just as bonded to my new member class as I would have had I been hazed. 

I saw my sisters living their ritual before I could even call myself their sister. As a freshman going through structured recruitment, there was this little spark that every Alpha Xi Delta had that I just couldn’t put my finger on. Every step of the way, from the first night of recruitment to the last night before my Initiation, I saw my sisters so fully living our Ritual that when I first heard it at Initiation I wasn’t surprised. Even though I hadn’t yet learned the actual words, I felt like I had known our Ritual all along. We are a chapter and community that places truly living our values and Ritual so strongly in the forefront of our minds that things like hazing simply can’t become an issue because there’s no one willing to desecrate their Ritual like that.

Coming to UIFI with five other Greeks from Eastern who have had the same experience as I have was a pretty huge culture shock. The first night, after we were done with all of our scheduled programming, I got a chance to unwind and have a really long talk with the rest of my chapter. The way some of them talked about their experiences with hazing just shocked me. One of the women in my chapter told us about how as a new member she was hazed by not just her sisters, but members of fraternities on her campus as well. I can’t even remember what was done to her because the whole time she was telling us about it, all I could think was WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF THIS????? And she didn’t want to be a part of it, she hated that it was done to her, hated that she hazed newer members too, and hated that her chapter’s climate perpetuated these awful things. But that’s the thing about being a new member or being in the minority opinion, it’s really, REALLY freaking intimidating to stand up for yourself and be a dissenting voice. 

People who haze frequently justify their actions by explaining that they would stop hazing if it made their new members uncomfortable. There are SO MANY things wrong with that excuse. Unless you’re a really assertive person with a lot of guts, as a new member you’re not going to stand up to the older members and tell them you don’t want to be hazed, or that you’re not comfortable with what they’re doing to you/forcing you to do. If they’ve signed a bid, they want to be a part of this organization and ultimately want to be initiated so they’ll do what it takes to get there. Second of all, new members in most cases have no idea how Greek Life works and don’t understand all the reasons they shouldn’t be hazed and will put up with it because they just don’t know that it’s wrong. But my biggest issue with this excuse is that if there’s any slight chance it would make your new members uncomfortable, if there’s any possibility at all that they will have a negative experience, you shouldn’t do it. Plain and simple. 

Because I’ve never seen a benefit to hazing, and everyone I’ve known in my college career has had a strongly negative opinion towards it, I always get blown away when I encounter people who legitimately want to haze and think it’s a necessary or beneficial part of the new member process. A big part of me wanted to grab the people at UIFI who condoned hazing by the shoulders and shake them, buuuuut I restrained myself. I just don’t understand that mindset at all, and hearing all these stories about hazing and alcohol problems that other chapters have gave me an even stronger appreciation for Eastern and AXiD Gamma Zeta. It’s really easy to complain about the problems my chapter has with accountability and fundraising and a big handful of other things, but in comparison to the horror stories I heard that night - we’re doing just fine. It put a lot into perspective and from that point on, I felt like my purpose for attending UIFI was much bigger than finding solutions for the small problems my chapter has. I’ve gained so much from being Greek and my experience has been so incredibly positive, and it really upsets me when other people don’t get that opportunity to have such a great experience. I felt a really strong sense of responsibility to give back what I’ve gotten and use my experience and perspective to convince those who condoned it that hazing has no place in a values-based organization. 

It was really challenging and so frustrating at times - at one point after a really long discussion about hazing I tweeted “talking about hazing is making me lose my mind. JUST STOP FUCKING HAZING OMG” and I wish it was that simple. The people who came from hazing chapters are against a lot of obstacles, and if everyone in your chapter has been hazing for years and years without anyone speaking up and saying “we shouldn’t do this, this is wrong”, how are you going to realize it’s wrong until you meet people with a different perspective? For a lot of these people, UIFI was the first time they had been able to look at hazing objectively and see the dark side of it - that it’s more than harmless fun and a chance to bond with your pledge class, that it conflicts with the values and Ritual your organization was founded on, and more importantly that it’s dangerous and PEOPLE DIE FROM IT. We watched a really powerful video one night about the tragic consequences of hazing and it had a huge impact on everyone there. I think that was such a necessary eye-opener for a lot of people, and after watching that video I started seeing people’s opinions change. 

Out of the ten people in Chapter Four, four of them came from hazing chapters. By the end of our UIFI experience, two of them verbally committed to ending hazing in their own chapters, one of them committed to ending hazing within his IFC community, and one of them called her chapter’s national headquarters because their need for outside help was so big. THIS IS HUGE! I was so proud of them, especially since 3 out of the 4 didn’t really see the issue with hazing at first. I admire their courage so much because it’s really not going to be easy for them, but they’re doing it anyway because they know how important it is. 

Seeing those four people commit to end hazing in their chapters was by far the biggest and most inspirational piece of UIFI for me. I believe in the power of Greek Life. I believe in the power of the bond of sisterhood and brotherhood. I believe everyone deserves to realize their potential. I believe in the life-changing ability of living your ritual. I believe in Alpha Xi Delta. I commit to ensuring that EVERYONE in the Greek system gains everything I have and more from being a member in this amazing community, to the best of my ability, for the rest of my life.





(For real, the rest of my life. I’m going into Student Affairs and I plan on doing this stuff until I physically can’t anymore.)

Filed under fraternity greek life hazing session 10 sorority uifi alpha xi delta uifi session 10

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SO GOOD TO BE A GAMMA ZETA!!! We won the Member Recruitment Excellence Award tonight at Convention, which only seven chapters won! I’m so happy and so so so soooo proud of my Gamma Zeta sisters :) Convention has been an amazing experience, truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I couldn’t be happier that I am an Alpha Xi Delta <3*

SO GOOD TO BE A GAMMA ZETA!!!

We won the Member Recruitment Excellence Award tonight at Convention, which only seven chapters won! I’m so happy and so so so soooo proud of my Gamma Zeta sisters :)

Convention has been an amazing experience, truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I couldn’t be happier that I am an Alpha Xi Delta <3*

Filed under alpha xi delta sorority axid convention

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OKAY so the Gamma Zeta chapter of Alpha Xi Delta officially has the most dedicated sweetheart ever. David just sent me this tattoo he just got and I&#8217;m in loooove with it! If you can&#8217;t read it, it says &#8220;Quietly let us present you the thorn, the stem, and the rose&#8230;&#8221; which is a line from a poem we read at Preference, and there&#8217;s a quill and a pink rose and I totally want to steal this entire concept.  David just graduated and is moving to Chicago for grad school at Loyola, which could not be more perfect because AXiD is colonizing there in the fall! 

OKAY so the Gamma Zeta chapter of Alpha Xi Delta officially has the most dedicated sweetheart ever. David just sent me this tattoo he just got and I’m in loooove with it! If you can’t read it, it says “Quietly let us present you the thorn, the stem, and the rose…” which is a line from a poem we read at Preference, and there’s a quill and a pink rose and I totally want to steal this entire concept. 

David just graduated and is moving to Chicago for grad school at Loyola, which could not be more perfect because AXiD is colonizing there in the fall! 

Filed under alpha xi delta sorority sweetheart loyola chicago